no 1 can understand how i feel now. many of them think that i am a very disobedient and bad-tempered girl yes i am but i am like this because i want to be an independent person even i am disabled. all they think is just how bad i m but no 1 i mean no 1 bother to find out y i m so bad and how i feel inside. not even the one i trusted the most or i used to trust now i even become her enemy whom she wanted to take revenge on me. this is so ridiculous right. i know my attitude wasnt good but it was because i felt frustrated and angry at the same time because i am useless and helpless. i m also a human who will feel angry but doesnt mean that i can throw my temper at others. i am so sad and don know what i shld do now.
thinking of working but i cant travel alone even i found a job i can never go there and yet no one understand how fed up i feel about myself for being good for nothing. she shld know how i feel but because i did something bad actuali i m angry with her for not understanding me my feeling. they always thk tt i am cruel to them but have they realise that they are cruel to my future too for not letting me to do what is necssary or useful for me in the future. their care and concerns will drive me to no way. do they know?
all they want is want me to listen to them but i have my own thought and ambition i know that they do this because they care for me. i have the biggest fault for not being able to give them enough confidence in me and i am stubborn as i don want to admit that i am wrong too but i just cant say sorry even if i did they will say sorry no cure the hurt has already made so jus let her do or say whatever they want to me as it s my fault
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
today is a pretty good whether
this morning i have attended a toast master club session at Teach Me Inc. in this programme, we are out to learn to be a confident and better speaker and get to know others better. although i think it was pretty boring at the beginning but i got to hear alot of sad and inspiring speeches which i felt sad and touch at that m0ment. i particular like the speech by our team president Shaitha. she talked about the advantages of living with a big family and grandparents.
Well to me as i am living with my grandparents in a big family too but i used to think that how good it will be living alone as there won't be any nagging from my granny and arguement between other members and me. and we arent like other who eat together in fact i ll eat alone at a corner. actually i prefer to eat alone as there's pressure to mind any table manner. but after hearing what shaitha had shared, i felt envy of her having such a good family. but i thought for a while why i must envy her while i have A family too. although it isn't as good as her, it s still better to have none.
to me family meant nothing to me last time but now familily means forever love and care
Well to me as i am living with my grandparents in a big family too but i used to think that how good it will be living alone as there won't be any nagging from my granny and arguement between other members and me. and we arent like other who eat together in fact i ll eat alone at a corner. actually i prefer to eat alone as there's pressure to mind any table manner. but after hearing what shaitha had shared, i felt envy of her having such a good family. but i thought for a while why i must envy her while i have A family too. although it isn't as good as her, it s still better to have none.
to me family meant nothing to me last time but now familily means forever love and care
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
build our life
yesterday the Audit teacher told us a story of a carpenter who built his last house for his last client. after he had built the house, the client gave the house key to the carpenter and gave the house to him as a gift. the carpenter was not really happy as he thought if he had known that the house was to be given to him, he would have build a better house.
although the audit teacher is a very boring person but the things she tells us do make me think and learn from them.
from here i learnt that we must be contented when we received a gift and not feel sad becAuse it's not good enough, and also time can never turn back so we must try to do things without any regrets.
this is simple thing that we know all along but we choose to forget
although the audit teacher is a very boring person but the things she tells us do make me think and learn from them.
from here i learnt that we must be contented when we received a gift and not feel sad becAuse it's not good enough, and also time can never turn back so we must try to do things without any regrets.
this is simple thing that we know all along but we choose to forget
today's a bad whether
i have just written an essay for a competition it's about my regret here it goes.......
WHAT’S THE THING YOU REGRET THE MOST
I have never been good to my grandfather. In fact, I have taken him for granted. I think it’s human nature not to cherish the people who are still around. When we are aware of it, it may be too late for you to do anything.
My grandfather has just past away last November. My grandfather is a very quick-tempered person so I didn’t like to talk to him. Furthermore, he had some hearing problems which made our communication break down. But I know that he does love me. Every morning, he would prepare breakfast for me and bring me to downstairs to wait for my transport on school days because I am disabled. And he also would ask my dad for my pocket-money every night after he worked with my dad.
Basically, I don’t live with my dad after my mum’s death because my dad has his new family now but he still pays for my expenses. So I lived with my grandparent. From baby, my grandparent and auntie have been taking good care of me. They didn’t treat me like a disabled child but they do overprotect me. They don’t let me go out on my own and don’t ask me to do any house chores. I know that I can’t do any of the house chores but I still want to try to do some which made my grandparent very angry. They were angry because of my stubbornness. I did a lot of things which made them angry. For example, playing the internet the whole day and buying all the useless things such as VCDs because I like watching shows.
Even on the day, my grandfather was lying on the bed really sick, do you all know what I was doing that time? I was watching a Taiwanese variety show online which had my idol in it. Instead of asking him how he was doing, as I thought he would be alright after a good rest. To the family, it was a shock when we got the news that my grandfather had gone from my small auntie who had accompanied my grandfather to the hospital after he fainted in the bathroom. I cried out loud in front of my computer. I cried because I regretted for not showing a little concern to my grandfather.
One more thing is that if wasn’t me, my grandfather might not have died by then. If my school holidays were earlier, my grandparent would have gone for a trip, and he wouldn’t have died of overworking. So I blame myself for his death. They could just go for a trip to take a break and left me in my dad’s care during the holidays because my transport driver can’t go to my dad’s place to fetch me for it’s far away from my school (Bishan I.T.E).
Actually, I know that I should be extra good to my grandparent but I take them for granted. Precisely, I can say that I don’t know how and what to do so as to treat other nicer. But I will take good care of myself, as I know that all my grandparent wish to see is me living happily and healthily.
WHAT’S THE THING YOU REGRET THE MOST
I have never been good to my grandfather. In fact, I have taken him for granted. I think it’s human nature not to cherish the people who are still around. When we are aware of it, it may be too late for you to do anything.
My grandfather has just past away last November. My grandfather is a very quick-tempered person so I didn’t like to talk to him. Furthermore, he had some hearing problems which made our communication break down. But I know that he does love me. Every morning, he would prepare breakfast for me and bring me to downstairs to wait for my transport on school days because I am disabled. And he also would ask my dad for my pocket-money every night after he worked with my dad.
Basically, I don’t live with my dad after my mum’s death because my dad has his new family now but he still pays for my expenses. So I lived with my grandparent. From baby, my grandparent and auntie have been taking good care of me. They didn’t treat me like a disabled child but they do overprotect me. They don’t let me go out on my own and don’t ask me to do any house chores. I know that I can’t do any of the house chores but I still want to try to do some which made my grandparent very angry. They were angry because of my stubbornness. I did a lot of things which made them angry. For example, playing the internet the whole day and buying all the useless things such as VCDs because I like watching shows.
Even on the day, my grandfather was lying on the bed really sick, do you all know what I was doing that time? I was watching a Taiwanese variety show online which had my idol in it. Instead of asking him how he was doing, as I thought he would be alright after a good rest. To the family, it was a shock when we got the news that my grandfather had gone from my small auntie who had accompanied my grandfather to the hospital after he fainted in the bathroom. I cried out loud in front of my computer. I cried because I regretted for not showing a little concern to my grandfather.
One more thing is that if wasn’t me, my grandfather might not have died by then. If my school holidays were earlier, my grandparent would have gone for a trip, and he wouldn’t have died of overworking. So I blame myself for his death. They could just go for a trip to take a break and left me in my dad’s care during the holidays because my transport driver can’t go to my dad’s place to fetch me for it’s far away from my school (Bishan I.T.E).
Actually, I know that I should be extra good to my grandparent but I take them for granted. Precisely, I can say that I don’t know how and what to do so as to treat other nicer. But I will take good care of myself, as I know that all my grandparent wish to see is me living happily and healthily.
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